All I Ever Wanted
by watercooleromance
Summary: Lucy and Kevin have been trying,unsuccessfully, to have a baby for a long time. When Lucy starts fertility treatments, will they get more than they bargained for? Read And Review! NEWS! 7.1.07 check it out.
1. Dr Susan Driscoll

**All I Ever Wanted**

Summary: Lucy and Kevin have been trying for a baby for well over a year. When Lucy starts fertility drugs, will they get more than they bargained for?

**A/N:** I'm not an expert on some of this stuff, but I hope I made it sound convincing. Also, Savannah does not exist in this story. I hope you enjoy! Review!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

Lucy and Kevin sat together in the waiting room of the doctor's office where they were scheduled to see Dr. Susan Driscoll for the first time. Lucy anxiously flipped through a parenting magazine, unable to concentrate on the article she was reading. Kevin watched her, wishing that their name would be called, as Lucy's continual ruffling of the magazine was making the both of them nervous.

The Kinkirks had been trying to get pregnant for nearly two years, but without success. It pained Kevin to see Lucy become so upset over not being able to conceive, because he knew that a child was all she ever wanted. Finally, Lucy's doctor had recommended her seeing a local fertility specialist. And now, there they were, waiting to be called into her office.

After what seemed like several eternities to Kevin and Lucy, a short, plump woman called out, "Lucy Kinkirk," in a monotone voice. The couple followed the nurse through the halls and found themselves inside of an office with a desk and a chair behind it, and 2 chairs set up in front of it.

"An…an office?" Lucy asked the nurse, surprised not to be in a room with a bed covered in paper, a sink, and medical posters.

"Yes, ma'am," the nurse replied, "Dr. Driscoll's routine is to talk to her patients first, and get to know them a little bit."

"Oh," Lucy breathed, feeling slightly stupid.

"Dr. Driscoll will be in momentarily," the nurse informed Kevin and Lucy and proceeded to walk out the door.

"Thank you," Kevin called to the nurse as she stepped out into the hallway, and he and Lucy sat in the two chairs.

Kevin and Lucy sat in silence for several moments, Kevin annoyingly tapping his foot on the floor and drumming his fingers on the arm of the chair he was sitting in.

Lucy slapped Kevin lightly on his hand. "Stop doing that, you're making me nervous."

"Sorry," Kevin apologized and turned his head in the opposite direction, avoiding eye contact with Lucy, and observing the office he and his wife were sitting in.

The walls were painted a dull blue-gray color with framed photos of infants hanging on them as well as Dr. Driscoll's medical school degree. The carpet was navy blue and potted plants sat on the floor. The desk was in the center of the small office, with a name plate that read 'Dr. Susan Driscoll'. What Kevin also noticed were the various pictures of children sitting in the desk, facing him and Lucy. Kevin thought it was odd that the doctor would have pictures of her children facing the people sitting in the chairs. It seemed almost evil that she would have them pointed at the couple who was unable to conceive. Kevin took one last look at his surroundings and wondered if the rest of he and Lucy's lives would start in that very office.

After a couple minutes of waiting, Lucy and Kevin heard the office door open, and were greeted by the doctor. 

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Kinkirk. I'm Dr. Driscoll," Kevin and Lucy each stood and extended their hands. Dr. Driscoll accepted, warmly shook each of their hands, and sat down at her desk.

Dr. Driscoll was a fairly young woman, only about the age of forty. She had straight, fiery red hair down to her shoulders, fair skin, and glassy, green eyes. She had a kind face and a warm smile. Kevin and Lucy were made to feel very comfortable as they watched her quickly scan Lucy's file.

Dr. Driscoll finally picked her head up from the papers she was reading, "This is your first visit to a fertility specialist, I see," Dr. Driscoll stated, half talking to herself.

"Yes," Lucy confirmed, "my obstetrician recommended me to you about a month ago."

"And how long have you been trying to conceive for, Ms. Kinkirk?"

Lucy shifted nervously in her seat. "2 years."

"This first visit is just about gathering information and discussing options," Kevin and Lucy were informed by Dr. Driscoll.

The doctor took out a notepad and pen, "Is there any history of infertility in either of your families?"

Kevin and Lucy looked at each other. "No, I don't think so," Lucy said.

"No history of miscarriages in your families?"

Kevin and Lucy both shook their heads.

Dr. Driscoll turned to Lucy, "Does your mother or any sisters have a history of fibroids or endometriosis?"

Lucy thought for a moment. Surely her mother would have told her about something like that. "No, I don't believe so."

"Mr. Kinkirk, have you ever fathered any children?"

"No, I haven't."

The questions seemed endless to Kevin and Lucy. 'Have you ever had any pelvic surgery or abdominal operations?', 'Have you ever been on birth control?', 'How frequently do you have intercourse?', 'Do either of you smoke heavily?', 'Kevin, do you have undescended testicles?', 'Lucy, do you menstruate regularly?', 'Do you have heavy bleeding?', 'Have you ever crash dieted?', were among the many questions added.

Kevin and Lucy, although embarrassed at most of the questions, answered each cooperatively.

Dr. Driscoll finished jotting notes down on her notepad, then pushed it away, and folded her hands on top of her desk.

"Now, Lucy, you have only had a few of the required tests done and there is nothing I can do for you at this time. I will have my receptionist schedule those for you and I will like to see you again in one month. Once we have determined the cause of your infertility, then we can discuss treatment options, being that Kevin as already had the necessary tests performed. Are there any questions you have for me before our time is up?"

"No, thank you," Lucy replied and she and Kevin got up and headed for the door.

Before leaving Dr. Driscoll's office Kevin turned back, "Excuse me, ma'am, but I was just curious- what are those pictures on your desk?"

Dr. Driscoll smiled. "Those are children of some of the patients that I have helped," she paused and Kevin nodded and began walking out the door, "and hopefully I can do the same for you."


	2. Sephid

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming! I made up the name of the fertility drug that Lucy takes, just in case you were wondering. (Which you probably weren't.) Review!

One month later and after much poking and prodding at Lucy's body, she and Kevin were once again sitting in Dr. Susan Driscoll's office, waiting for her to come in with Lucy's test results. Kevin looked around at the now familiar office and his eyes stopped on the pictures placed on the doctor's desk. He couldn't keep his eyes off of them. Those children's lives were made possible by Dr. Driscoll. _Maybe, _Kevin thought, _maybe there is hope._

Lucy was anxiously waiting for the doctor to come in. Today she would find out the reason for her not being able to get pregnant. _And, hopefully, whatever it is, they can fix._

_  
_Dr. Driscoll walked into her office, greeted the Kinkirks, and sat down at her desk.

"Lucy, your progesterone, blood count, thyroid, follicle stimulating, and estrogen tests have all come back normal. We have also determined that your fallopian tubes are clear. From the tests that have been performed, I can only conclude that you are ovulating irregularly."

"What, what does that mean? Can I get pregnant?" Lucy asked.

"With some assistance, most likely. Now it's time to talk about treatment options. I'm going to suggest that you start fertility drugs, but that is completely your choice."

"Yes," Kevin announced, "we want to try the drugs."

Dr. Driscoll moved some papers around on her desk, then picked her head back up to look at the couple. "Your best choice to go with for the fertility drugs is probably Sephid."

"I've never heard of that," Lucy said, blushing slightly for her ignorance.

"It is a highly effective fertility drug that is commonly used in cases like yours. Patients usually have success within the first four cycles of use. It helps your body to produce good-size eggs regularly, and also-"

"We'll try it. We'll do anything," Lucy interjected.

The doctor smiled at Lucy's willingness. "If that is what you truly want to do, you can. But, once again, it is your choice. Otherwise, we can skip right to In Vitro Fertilization."

Lucy gripped Kevin's hand and looked at Dr. Driscoll. "We'd like to try Sephid."

For the next 20 minutes Lucy and Kevin sat patiently and listened to the precautions they would need to take while using the treatment and learning about the possible side effects of the drug. Dr. Driscoll wrote Lucy a prescription for Sephid and before handing it over to the couple, cautioned them about one last thing. "Also, you should be aware that using this drug may result in multiple births."

Lucy doubted seriously doubted that this would happen in her case. If she was having so much trouble becoming pregnant with one baby, how was she going to get pregnant with more than that?

"We understand and thank you very much, doctor," Kevin answered.

Dr. Driscoll handed over the prescription paper to Kevin. "Good luck, Mr. and Mrs. Kinkirk."

The couple smiled and walked out the door of the small office.

XXX

Later on that night, Kevin and Lucy were at the local Target. While Kevin was getting the prescription filled, Lucy found herself standing in the baby care section. Lucy walked over to a clothing rack and picked up a small baby outfit. It was pink terrycloth with teddy bears on it. She sighed and hung it back up. _Will I ever have a baby of my own?_

Lucy walked down the aisles of the store, looking at the baby strollers and high chairs to the diapers and formula. She silently prayed to God. _Dear, God, I just want one baby. Just one, that's all I'm asking you for, nothing else. _Lucy felt tears coming as she watched a mother pushing a small baby in a carriage. _Maybe I'm not supposed to be a mother._

Kevin got the prescription and started looking around the store from his wife. He knew that she would probably be found in the baby section. It wasn't easy for Kevin to watch his beautiful wife struggle to become pregnant. He felt guilty that he had almost gotten his high school girlfriend pregnant, but was unable to do so with Lucy, whom he deeply cared for and loved.

He finally found Lucy, as he predicted, in the baby section.

"Let's buy this." Lucy said, showing Kevin a book of baby names that she held in her hand.

"Alright. And," Kevin pulled the bottle of pills out of his jacket pocket, "I got your prescription."

Lucy smiled and gave Kevin a quick kiss on the lips.

After paying for the book, Kevin and Lucy left Target, and got into their car. Kevin noticed that Lucy was intently staring at the bottle of Sephid capsules.

"You know, Luce if this doesn't work…" Kevin's voice trailed off and Lucy's gaze at the bottle was cut off. She stared at Kevin, not sure of what he was trying to say.

"It will work," Lucy said confidently, "you heard the doctor, most women have success."

"I know," Kevin replied softly, trying to keep his eyes on the road and have a serious conversation with his wife at the same time. "But what if it doesn't work? What if-"

Lucy cut Kevin off. "Then we try the artificial insemination. If that doesn't work, then we try the In Vitro."

Kevin let out a heavy sigh. "Maybe we should just adopt."

Tears began to pour down Lucy's face. "You don't understand, Kevin. I want my own." Lucy was now sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, Luce."

Lucy wiped her eyes. "It's okay. But, tell me that we're going to have a baby of our own."

"What?"

"Just tell me."

Kevin had a feeling that what he was about to say was a lie, but he said it nonetheless, to make his wife happy. "I promise you, Lucy, that we will have a baby of our own. No matter what it takes."

Lucy smiled and managed to stop the tears from escaping her eyes. She looked down at the bottle of fertility drugs in her hand. Was it possible that all she ever wanted lay inside that bottle?

**Review! Did you like it? Your reviews really mean a lot to me, and they keep me writing. Everybody's review is appreciated. **


	3. Failure

**Disclaimer: **How many times must I repeat it? I own nothing.

**A/N: **Thank you guys so much for the reviews. I know I've said it before, but I honestly do appreciate them.

The next several months were particularly upsetting and hard for Lucy. Without success, Lucy had already been through 6 cycles of Sephid and things were beginning to seem hopeless. Every night before going to bed Lucy prayed for a baby, and yet after each cycle of the fertility drugs, God had lacked to show his presence. Lucy's doctor had suggested that they try one last cycle of Sephid, and then move on to in vitro fertilization. Lucy would do anything it takes to get pregnant, but Kevin was unsure about taking the next step in the Kinkirk's quest to become parents.

In vitro fertilization was very expensive, costing nearly $9,000 a cycle, and insurance was only covering a fraction of that. And with the unknown amount of cycles that Lucy would have to go through, it would be less expensive to adopt a child. Kevin confronted Lucy about the subject one night after dinner.

Lucy and Kevin were both sitting at their kitchen table, going through mail and paying bills, when Kevin realized just how much money Lucy's infertility might be costing them.

"Luce…"

"Yeah, Kev?" Lucy asked, picking her head up from the letter she was reading to make eye contact with her husband.

"I was going through the costs of the in vitro and," Kevin took a deep breath. He didn't like to bring this up. "I think we should adopt."

Lucy sighed. "Kevin," she whined, "we've been through this before. I don't want to."

"No, we've never talked about this. Every time I bring it up you change the subject."

"That's because I don't want to adopt."

"Well, we only have one more round of Sephid left. Then, what? Are we going to try the in vitro?"

"I'll do anything."

Now it was Kevin's turn to sigh. "Luce, it's expensive, you know that."

"Do you want to see me get mad? Really mad?"

"No," Kevin dropped the conversation and went back to reading his mail.

X

The next morning Lucy went to visit her mother for a heart-to-heart talk.

"So, Luce, how's Kevin?" Annie Camden asked, as she and her daughter sat down for a cup of tea at the Camden house.

"Good," Lucy replied, pouring some milk into her tea and taking a small sip.

Annie Camden held her mug in her hands and looked at her daughter. "And, how are you doing?"

"I'm good, too."

Annie was unsatisfied, "What's on your mind, Lucy?"

Lucy took in a breath of air and spilled everything. She told her mother every detail of what had been going on between her and Kevin for the past several months. How she didn't want to adopt, how he didn't want to go ahead with the in vitro. And, most importantly, how she thought she may never become a mother.

Annie looked sympathetically at Lucy after hearing her stories. She knew Lucy was having trouble conceiving, but never thought it had affected her so deeply. "Oh, Luce," Annie said softly, pulling her daughter into a warm embrace.

Lucy looked up into her mother's eyes. "I think Kevin and I are going to adopt. The waiting lists can be long, but we'll finally have a child."

Annie had been a mother for nearly 30 years, and, right now her daughter was as transparent as glass. "Lucy, is that what you really want?"

She'd been caught. It was impossible to sneak the smallest white lie past her mother. "No," Lucy replied flatly.

"If you don't want to then you don't have to, Luce. But, think about it, adoption can be wonderful. Giving a child a place to be loved, it's priceless. You know how happy George is with Ruth and the Colonel."

Lucy offered her mother a small, weak smile.

"But," Annie continued, "You should talk to Kevin about it."

Lucy gave her mother a quick hug and went to find her husband. He was sitting on the couch at their house, watching a baseball game.

"Hey," Lucy said sitting down on Kevin's lap. Before giving him a chance to greet her, Lucy planted a small, but passionate, kiss on his lips. "I've come to a conclusion."

"About what?" Kevin asked, looking into his wife's eyes.

"We'll try one last cycle of Sephid and then we'll put our names on the waiting list at the adoption agency."

Lucy flashed a seemingly significant smile at Kevin.

Kevin smiled back, glad that there would probably be no more fights between the two of them on the subject of adoption. "If that's what you want to do."

"I do," Lucy lied, "I really do."

X

The next day at church Lucy couldn't stop thinking about babies and adoption and about getting pregnant. In a moment of silent prayer, Lucy begged God to give her a child of her own. _I'm sorry about lying to Kevin about adopting, but I wouldn't have needed to if you would just help me to get pregnant. I want a family more than anything else in the world. I'd do anything if you would just help me out here. I want a baby. _

Throughout the rest of the mass Lucy's mind kept drifting to the subject of children. _Why? _She wondered, _Why would God give Mary a baby that she abandoned, but can't spare me one? Why did he give Martin a baby that he doesn't want anything to do with, but not me? Why would he give my mother 7 children, but I can't have 1? Why? Why? Why?_

By the end of her father's sermon, Lucy could feel her eyes stinging with tears. From time to time Kevin would look over at her, only when he was not praying._ Why can't I be more understanding with Lucy? I know she wants a child, but I just can't give one to her. If there's anything you could do for me, just help Lucy to get pregnant. And I swear, well I guess I shouldn't be swearing, but I promise that I will serve you. I'll do anything._

**Will Kevin and Lucy get pregnant? Tune in next time. **

Review, all reviews are wanted!

A/N: Things are going to start getting more interesting soon…


	4. Success?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything.

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews!I'm sorry that I didn't update sooner, I've been really busy lately.

"I'm going to work now."

Lucy rolled over in her bed, awaking to the sound of her husband's voice. She forced her eyelids open as Kevin bent over to give Lucy a goodbye kiss. After a short, but nonetheless passionate kiss, Lucy wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"What?" Kevin questioned, seeing the expression on Lucy's face.

Lucy fanned her hand in the air to get rid of the awful smell that filled her nostrils. "Too much cologne," she managed to choke out in between hoarse coughs.

Kevin pulled away and smiled. "I'm not even wearing cologne," and with that Kevin disappeared out the door.

"Oh, yes, he is definitely wearing cologne," Lucy said to herself once she was alone.

Feeling tired and drained of energy, Lucy threw her head back onto her pillow and drifted off into a deep sleep, for 20 minutes. Her peaceful sleep was interrupted with a violent churning and flopping of her stomach. As fast as she could, Lucy darted to the bathroom, and just in time. With her head being nearly swallowed by the toilet, Lucy saw what looked like her own guts swim around in the water. Lucy cleaned herself up and retreated back into her bedroom.

She's been feeling this way for a couple weeks now. Lucy was afraid to tell anybody about the possibility of her being pregnant for several reasons. Number one, if she was pregnant she was afraid that telling somebody would possibly jinx it and she would end up having a miscarriage. Reason number two is that she thought she might be going crazy. Lucy thought that because she wanted to get pregnant so bad that she thought had imagined the violent morning sickness, the sensitivity to smells, the late period, the breast tenderness and all of the other symptoms she had, because she wanted to have a baby so badly. Lucy was so nervous and confused that she thought she might be going crazy. In her heart she knew what the right thing to do was. She needed to take a pregnancy test.

A couple hours later she stood in her bathroom, nervously pacing the floor, her mind racing. She suddenly had the unexplainable urge to throw the test away. She didn't want to take it. She knew it would probably be negative and Lucy wasn't sure if she could take that kind of news. She wanted to hold on to that feeling, the feeling that she might be pregnant. If that test came out to be negative, Lucy would probably never experience that type of feeling again. Finally Lucy came to her senses and decided to find out if she was having a baby or not.

The timer rang, signaling it was time to look at the test results. _Please be blue, please. _Lucy took the test in her hands and quickly flipped it over, her eyes closed. She inhaled a deep, long breath and opened her eyes.

Blue.

Lucy could feel her eyes well with tears. She was finally going to have a baby.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I have to get this story moving! Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still alive and I plan on updating regularly again. Review! Reviews keep me writing!**


	5. NEWS!

Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it? Anyway, if any fans of this story still exist, I have some news for you. I'm not really happy with the way this story has been written, looking at it a year and a half later. I'm going to be rewriting and changing this story a lot. I really like the idea for this fic, I'm just unhappy about the way it's been written, but I have every intention of making it better this summer and actually updating. Email me (email's in my bio) if you have any suggestions for the story, or any questions. Sorry it's been so long.

Thanks.

-Karlie


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